Friday, April 28, 2006

Flathead syndrome carriers unite!

Carmel Smith announced:

"I'm a flathead!"

As Carmel's head is as round as a pea, this came as something of a revelation over the tea-cups in the staff restaurant. We are refraining from calling it the canteen, by the way.

Carmel had agreed to help Joyce's hair-cutting class by attending a session as a subject-cum-guinea-pig and the instructor had nonchalantly stabbed her in the back of the neck with a scissors after announcing that she was a flathead and that certain haircuts complimented her head shape. Carmel got mileage out of that one, especially the stabbing! And that was that for several weeks.

Last night as we lay in bed, Herself was plagued with a most peculiar headache that would give no relief whether carried lying down or sitting up or walking about the house. She held the top of her head down with one hand as if it was about to fly off.

"I wonder am I having a stroke?" she said. I considered it unlikely and pulled the bedcovers back to my side. An opportunity to steal back the stolen comes but seldom. And that was that for the night.

This morning, I was startled to see Joyce sitting with her hand holding the top of her head as if it was about to fly off, and Mary holding her head in the same pose. It was kind of Monty Python-esque -- a salute for all flatheads everywhere, perhaps. Or the Secret Society of Flatheads. They both reported savage headaches in the night. Something viral must be doing the rounds.

Now I don't know whether I'm a carrier of the syndrome who wafts flatheadishness about in an invisible aura or whether Carmel Smith is shedding flatheadedness at random. The headaches haven't come yet. But if you see me with one hand in a top-of-the-cranium salute, you'll know what happened.

Edit: Since writing the above, I've discovered that several visitors have been finding the piece by searching for a genuine medical condition known as "Flathead Syndrome." Please visit this link to read more about the condition.


Anonymous said...

As you are the common denominator in this, do you think you are the cause of the flat-head headache??

Willie_W said...

Anything is possible. Maybe they are all growing allergic to me!