Sunday, September 23, 2007

Our cake stand has a wobble

Practical. That's what a toilet seat is. You know its function. A place to rest yourself before, during, or after a busy day.

So I had no difficulty in joining Herself in a bit of shopping around this afternoon as it involved something practical like a toilet seat.

Our other one was fancy. Too impractical, in fact. Where it sacrificed practicality for fanciness it met rust, and where it met rust it seized, and where it seized it eventually broke.

My own posterior being unfussy, I am unfazed by the absense of a toilet seat, but the rest of the family were too quickly disappearing down the pan and so one had to be had. I approved of the mission.

So it was with some surprise -- although experience should have warned me in advance -- that I greeted the suggestion:
"Let's look at the household section."
Among the household section items were various pieces of packing crates reassembled into designer furniture. There were clocks made from scrap metal the scrap-metal merchants obviously rejected. Picture frames that looked like the bin truck had run over them. And there were ornamental bits and pieces that were trying to be practical in a slightly cream coloured way.
"Oh look!" Herself cooed at a three tiered cake stand -- the kind that one puts the most elaborate of biscuits and tartlets onto when the parish priest comes to call, but hides away in the event the Relieving Officer sends a representative to the house. "You shall have to carry it in the car," she said.
I wondered briefly if this involved wearing the toilet seat like a horse collar, but it transpired that other came in a cardboard box. I daintily held the cake stand (making sure its ornamental finial wasn't pointing at my eyeball in case we had to stop suddenly) on my lap on the drive home. It had little pottery doily edges.
About an hour later, we noticed the yoke was kind of leaning over, like something underneath was melted.
"Do you think that's crooked?" I asked.
"Hmmm," was the reply. It was the kind of "Hmmm" which said, "And why didn't you spot that in the shop, Mr. There's-Another-One-There-in-the-Front-of-the-Display-Lookit?"
So I have to figure out how to straighten up the thing. The middle tier has an off-centre hole.
Ironic, really, as the toilet seat fitted perfectly.


Anonymous said...

When our wood toilet seat cracked, we gingerly sat and were very aware to be careful. After some day's of being careful I bought a new one. Not bothering to ask the other half, as some women do, I took the task of taking off the old to attach the new.
Digging out MY tools and went to work on the broken seat. Of course, don't you just know it, one of the screws that held a plastic bit from the seat to the pot was fused fast. The sweat was pumping outta me. Nope, it would not budge. I pondered for a while and came up with the idea of burning the offending plastic. I got a lighter and started, ever hold a lighted lighter for a while ? it burns yer fingers !.
The smell of plastic was all over the bathroom. Ahh at last, the platic was mostly burned away. I got the screwdriver and slowly prised the plastic till I could turn the offending stuck fast screw easily. YES ! it came off.
feeling good I inspected the toilet and no marks were left from my attempts. I happily attached the new toilet seat.
I had to then get into the shower and put on clean clothes. My effort of an easy job knackered me.

Willie_W said...

Setting fire to the house as a method of DIY? I haven't tried that one... Yet...

Anonymous said...

Well believe it or not we needed another toilet seat in 2010 ! This time I was very careful and decided not to prise the broken bracket off. (I avoided buying one with a plastic bit this time, or so I thought.) As it happened I needed a plumber to come fix the handle on this old toilet.Seems we are due new our Landlords told us well before the recession hit. Anyhow, the plumber came to fix the handle, "would you like me to take off the broken seat" he asked. Never look a gift horse in the mouth as the saying goes, so I let him take off the old seat. I had not yet bought the new seat and was delighted to go shopping for one. As I said previously, I thought I had avoided buying one with the plastic fastening bits. THEN, I noticed a small drip coming from the pipe where the plumber had fitted the new handle. Called the plumber out again, a different bloke came. He asked, after fixing the pipe would I like him to put the new toilet seat on ! never look a gift horse in the mouth twice !!!! Yeah, I have a nice new toilet seat, plastic bits and all.