Sunday, November 04, 2007

Gas Leak sets me all headless chickenish

So anyhow, the plumber comes and goes and connects the gas line up and signs the certification papers and all is okay. There's some concrete needs finishing by Bord Gáis and also by the plumber. We'll have the heating system running in a few days. Yadda-yadda-yadda.

We're minding the grandson over the Saturday night. On Sunday, Herself brings the wee man for a wee ramble down the road. Following some major building of coloured block houses on the carpet for rapid demolition to the shouts of "H'gain!", unsticking pieces of half eaten toast from the armchair, and tap tap tappity dancing over lots of plastic toys, I wave them off merrily at the front door.

"Do you smell gas?" Herself says, frowning. I mentally check that I took my blood pressure tablet this morning. Check. Then I have the mickey fit.

"Oh, bollix! Bollix. Bollix. Bollix. And... bollix."

"The number is on the invoice. Or in the book. Bye-eee!"

Herself and the wee man go off kicking autumn leaves while I scramble about unplugging electrical appliances and wondering if any of the cats smoke cigarettes. The black cat may well smoke a pipe.

"Hello," says a voice on the emergency Bord Gáis number (1850-20-50-50, in case you are presently still Blogging while holding your breath and really, really should phone that number before you pass out).

I gabble away about gas and smell and front garden and recent connection and....

"I'll just switch you to Dublin," the voice says. Obviously a panicked Dub is nothing for a Laois man to deal with at ten past ten on a Sunday morning.

"Hello," says a reassuringly Dublin accent.

I gabble away about gas and smell and front garden and recent connection and....

"Your address?"

I give him the address.

"You don't have a meter," he says, in a kind of half-puzzled tone. Perhaps Bord Gáis wants to know how much it can bill us for the amount of gas creeping about the driveway as we speak.

"No we don't. We're literally only connected up since yesterday."

"I'll have someone out within the hour," he says. Then he launches into the mantra about not smoking or not lighting candles to look down the pipe and so on.

Thirty minutes later a man in overalls and with the serene look of an overtime payment in his immediate future tells me the on/off valve is ever so slightly switched to "On." And maybe the blind end is a little less white-stick than it should be. He gives it a twist.

"All fixed."

"Bloody marvelous."

"Ah, sure they sometimes seep out a bit of gas before the meter is installed. It shouldn't be a problem out in the air like this."

Feck it, we haven't even heated a radiator yet.

I may push the car out of the driveway in the morning before starting it. But most likely I'll be so lazy by then I'll tell Herself to give the ignition a lash as usual.

Sure what could go wrong, eh?


Anonymous said...

I had one gas fella out this morning, he twiddled with a few switches and we have heat now. That's ok but the cooker has not got enough power to fry an agg. I had chopped lots of veg and was doing a chicken stock stew for today. My friend is going to cook it for me while I am in work. The heating does not go off when the place is heated up !We have to switch it off from the thermo. We have to get yer man who is calling tomorrow as arranged to fix the timers. Don't care at the mo, we are warm again. I spent £5 yesterday heating the one room with an electric heater, far too much dosh. Willie, hope all goes ok with your heating now.......Joan

Fitz said...

Fella jumps out of an airplane doing one of those charity parachute jump things.


Pulls the cord.


Pulls the emergency chute cord.


Meets another fella on the way up clinging onto a cooker.

'Do you know anything about parachutes?' he says

'No. Do you know anything about gas cookers?'

boom tish

I'm here all week folks

Anonymous said...

LOL fitz. Joan

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, an engineer came out and ended up calling the emergency gas man out today. The gas pipe was blocked from the meter. Was a number 2 instead of a number 20 flow. I was put on the phone to speak to the emergency office. All the Health and Safety stuff yer wan had to tell me...don't make a spark, open windows, if you have a pet, put it outdoors. The first engineer was only here to extend a pipe, had to laugh, I had lit up a ciggie and my cat was sitting on the sofa beside me, just before I got all the instructions. There was no smell of gas but I do realise what yer wan was on about. The emergency bloke was out within half an hour, fair play to them. I had red warning stickers on my meter. The emergency bloke fixed the problem in 15 minutes. Heating AND hot water together. My cooker flow works better than ever. I have a new meter still to be put in on Thursday morning. Willie.....would you believe all this after your gas problems ?? Joan