Wednesday, March 08, 2006

When crapping rings about me later, doubtless I'll regret it

I arrived home this evening to find a bowl of grapes in the kitchen. Even in March, we're still finding packets and boxes of Christmas goodies and sharing them out, so something nice and edible is nothing new here. Fruit, however, is a rarity. And I like grapes. Even if they don't like me.

I went out to feed the cats and popped a grape into my mouth in passing.

"Mmmm...! Nice."

The cats eyed me with that expression only they can have, which means:

"What is the f**king monkey saying now? Doesn't he know we are commanding him to serve us meat? Quit stalling, Monkey! We are not amused."

On the way back in, I stole another grape.

And while switching on the oven, there was an excuse to pass by and purloin another. And when pulling down the shades, another. And plugging in the computer, another. And switching on the sitting room light another. And coming back in to put my password into Windows, another. And checking the oven, another. And coming back in to write something for the Blog, another.

I think I'll have to start using the double-doors to the living room rather than pass them by again. My constitution is not up to healthy living, and I shall have to suffer the grapes of wrath in a few hours when my body finds out I'm not swallowing my accustomed lard.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fruit is good for you, so the medical crowd say. I actually eat a lot of fruit. Grapes are my favs I like strawberries and kiwi fruit also. Oranges and apples,well I don't eat many of those. Oh yes, banana, grapes, and strawberries, all mixed in a bowl. Five pieces of fruit is the sure way of getting a good daily allowance. No one tells you IF you have an already dicky tum, not to eat five portions ( or even three in my case), that you should be prepared for the "outcome".

Anonymous said...

Is this posting r not LOL

Willie_W said...

Sure it's posting... And emailing me each time to let me know it is.

Anonymous said...

I seem to recall you had some pineapple today too! You seem to be turning over a new leaf without even realising it. You'll be eating water melon before you know it.

fitz said...

does wine count as part of the *hic* fruit allowanncsshe ?

Willie_W said...

Only beef-burger wine. And without the slice of pineapple...