I think this year must have been one of the most difficult for any of us to keep a grasp on the spirit of Christmas. Anger at the cynicism of the government and capitalist interests of the last superpower on its misadventure. Disbelief at the cynicism of its enemies on their holy war. I have tried to educate myself a little by reading Robert Fisk's book, "The Great War for Civilisation", and find myself chilled to the bone. We are still thugs one step removed from caves, a half-step from the animal world.
At home we're spending money and earning it like never before, yet we dread any type of interaction with a hospital because of the lack of funding and resources. No-one knows how to fix things and no-one knows how to say they don't know.
We're mired in our cars and buses every day in long, unmoving tailbacks that sap the will and leave us zombified for a couple of hours in front of the television before going to bed to get up next day and do it all again.
Wholesale drug use is now so common that cocaine is now the drug of choice everywhere. (You can hear schoolboys planning how to pool their money for a drug-fueled night out as you're stewing on the bus in the traffic jams). Drug dealers are multiplying, no matter how many are arrested, killed by one another, or kill the innocent.
Is this chaos really what we measure as our success? Is it what we want? No one takes responsibility for what they're children do, for what their lack of community input does to their community, for any kind of blame or accountability.
And here we are in the leadup to another Christmas. I can write my traditional glowing tale of Christmas lights and tinsel and childhood memories again. But I don't feel like it. I've had our family losses and set-backs this year as in other years, but it hasn't triggered a catharsis.
I think like everyone, I'm tired. We seem to beat our way to Christmas now as if surviving to it is an end in itself. Perhaps this year, more than any, it has never been truer for more people. What does it mean if we make it to that date on the calendar? Will we be able to shut the world out for those few days and maybe hope for something to change in the New Year? Maybe things were better when we were those people just out of those caves, feasting at the turning of the year, fattening up because the weather would hopefully be getting better soon and we could go out and about again in relative comfort in a few weeks time to do... What? Start religions and religious wars? Victimise each other and ourselves?
My hope this Christmas is for some kind of sea change to come, either from within myself or from out there, I don't know. Something hopeful, wonderful, peaceful, creative instead of destructive. I think that's what I'll be holding onto this Christmas. Is that hope?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Holding onto Christmas in 2006
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1 comment:
Hey willie, you are not the only one feeling like this. This is the first year ever that I can remember that I have no interest in the festive season.
We all have our thought's on how the world is. I have let rip about the murder's of the five prostitutes here in England. In my rant I said I have no sympathy for those girl's, they PUT themselves into a situation where they were murdered. You should have heard the comments that came back to me. Am I the only one who thinks this way ? I dunno, but I am sticking by my own thinking.
My kids have all left home now. I feel a loss I never thought could happen to me. I'm empty inside. They are good people and include me in their lives. It could be days gone by before I hear from one of them but hey, they have lives too. I do not sleep well these days I have thought's going around in my head all the time. Some are like you have said before, "what are we here for ? "Are we waiting for the end of whatever at the end of the tunnel". I find I think like that at times, then I try my best to do something to change my life. Sometimes I find it a struggle, I am not working at the moment, I feel worthless, I NEED to do something. After this "festive" season is over I have plans to get any job I can. I already have names and address written down, it must have been on a good day last week that I contiplated on the jobs.
You have been through a tough time in recent years. I thought I had a hard skin till I realised I was thinking dark thought's. I am fighting my way out of it. We come from the same mould, we can do it, we must try.
The stupid people in this world will always be there. The druggies, the killers, the down and outs. But the few of us who are hanging in there make the difference.
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