Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Why Howard Hughes stopped using public transport

The single decked 49 bus is not a favourite of mine as you may recall from this post. Too many odd things can happen on a single-decker when all your whole muddled, post-work brain wants is the familiar stale sweaty smell and shrieking noises of a regular, overcrowded one-up-one-down on wheels.

Tonight a lady in her 50s sat down in the seat ahead of me on the single-decked 49 bus. Well-dressed with skirts that almost touched the floor, where her three or four bags of newly purchased Dunnes Stores clothes or home wares were nestled, she had on a smart camel hair coat or its fake equivalent. A nice, well-turned out lady you would think.

As the bus reached Aherns pub on the Old Bawn Road, she saluted it by tilting to the left on one cheek of her bum and letting off a smart, sharp, retorting fart that went "Fra-a-ap!" Then, quite unperturbed, she gathered up her bags and alighted at the next stop.

A young Asian man who was uncomfortably perched on an aisle seat threw himself gratefuly into the unoccupied space by the window.

I was thinking of tapping him on the shoulder and asking if he thought the seat was unusually warm.

I hope I'm on time for the double-decker tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

LOL, funny how "gas" makes you laugh. Joan

Anonymous said...

Have to tell this story.......... I dropped my other half to work the other morning. On the way out our front door, he picked up a plastic carrier bag which was sitting on the floor. I thought it had some sort of tools or something in it as he was on about getting some spray paint for a certain job he was doing. We did stop at a shop for the paint spray and I thought nothing more of it.
We arrived at the site, he was getting out of the car and I asked him if he was going to get some hot food off the hot food van that comes at lunchtime. "Naw" he said, " I will eat the lunch you made me". "What lunch ?" I enquired. He picked up the carrier bag and showed it to me. I was in bits laughing, "that's the rubbish bag I took out of the bin and set it down beside the door to take it out to the main bin" I told him, hardly able to get the words out with the laugh. He was in fits laughing himself. I had made him NO lunch the night before. We had been out and I never bothered. It was the one thing that made my week. I asked him later that night if he told his work-mates, "I asked them did they hear of the Irish man etc" he told me. Oh, it was so funny........Joan

Willie_W said...

Brings a whole new meaning to the term, "Eating rubbish."

My worst experience of binbag confusion came when I transported a wargame model army of perhaps 500 figures and terrain and other models by black refuse sack and fell into the trap of "I'll move them upstairs tomorrow."

"Tomorrow" came about a day after the wheelbin had been put out half empty and the parents were looking for something to fill it up. What better than two full black plastic refuse sacks they found by the door?

What a sickener.